Saturday, November 02, 2002
At $0.25, the Sun
remains overpriced by a factor of nine, at least. As Brother Brad notes below, the exciting new additions to the paper are neither new nor exciting. Seth and Ira, journalistic carrion-eaters, are merely continuing their practice of scavenging the scraps of yesterday's feast. We do however appreciate their appeal to our sense of economy.
We'll do them one better. In the DIY spirit, we encourage the LFLS faithful to Build Your Own Sun
: Click on left for the latest by the imbecilic Mr. Capeci, who maintains his deep reverential awe of John Gotti, writing now decrying the feds' effort to "Dapper Don into the sewer." With Seth and Ira's deep reverential awe of Ariel Sharon, we see why Capeci - oblivious or cold to the sufferings inflicted by his Most Revered - merits a column in the Sun
: Lummox Taranto erected a theater for his audience of frenzied bigots and screens a new episode of Arabs Behaving Badly each day. Seth and Ira re-run it the next. Click the link and then scroll to the very bottom of the screen; click on "PREVIOUS DAY" to get the Sun
version of "Best of the Web Today," which is essentially yesterday's "Best."
: Really the only link in this entry worth clicking on.
Andrew Sullivan: Claud Cockburn edited a weekly sheet titled The Week
, in which he reported on what he was able to tease from seven days' worth of conversation with sources and seven days' worth of close reading the papers. Andrew Sullivan, offering his "Weekly Dish," reports on his Mac and just how unfair everybody is to him. As his "WebLog" is little more than a compendium of error and infamy, we suggest clicking here
and forgoing Sullivan's Sun
"column," the most awful few hundred words to ever disgrace a newspaper.
David Frum: Manhattan Institute
alumnus Mr. Frum is the same idiot who plotted the so-called "Axis of Evil," a brilliant rhetorical turn which exposed the President's ignorance and the nation's hypocrisy
. Well done, that, David Frum! As with Sullivan, it is unlikely Mr. Frum will ever achieve a coherent thought worth committing to paper. He likewise fails to merit a link.
Wallace Matthews: Oscar DeLa Hoya's the greatest...no he's a coward...no...uhm...wait, what did I first say about Oscar? With so many good sports columnists in active practice, many of whom can actually write compellingly
, and some of whom manage to do so from New York
, why waste ones time with Matthews, who's been re-writing the same column since 1991.
: Unless you can convince Dan to let you in on his next (alleged, of course) bout of insider trading, you'll profit little from heeding any of this moron's less than insightful commentary. You'd probably realize greater returns trading on the wisdom contained within Dow 36,000
or by placing your money with Sun
backer Roger Hertog
Jack Newfield: Mr. Newfield saves his best work for real publications
- i.e., those whose newsstand prices actually rise
over time, and are able to command a readership at prices above a quarter of a dollar.
That about does it, excepting the fantabulous new additions to the newsroom staff that Seth and Ira are sure to maltreat. We were surprised that the press release contained not a word about Norah Vincent
's "salubrious corrective to the sinistral misinformation campaign being waged in the academy." I mean, aren't you supposed to lure 'em into the tent with the A-list material?
Thursday, October 31, 2002
a Halloween trick? No, it is most certainly a treat, particularly for Like Father Like Sun
’s New York Sun facilitator, Tim, who will now have an additional $2.50 per week to spend on his people’s fateful preoccupation
. Furthermore, the press release states that the Sun will increase its number of pages; we look forward to even more Jerusalem Post, AP, and Daily Telegraph reprints.
One funny thing is that the Sun brags about its position as “the first newspaper to carry the "Best of the Web" column by James Taranto
,” as “the exclusive New York newspaper to carry the weekly column by Michael Kinsley, the founding editor of Slate.com,” and as the home of Andrew Sullivan. As we have pointed out too many times to recall, why the Sun sees merit in reprinting material available for free elsewhere is beyond us. Another is William Kummel
’s statement, “Not only will the Sun be less expensive on the newsstand but it will be more convenient to purchase. Readers can pick up a copy of The New York Sun and a copy of the Times and hand over a dollar. For just a quarter, they get a second point of view.” Has a paper ever had such an inferiority complex?
Still, we are excited about the Sun’s new motto, “Expect a Different Point of View
.” Assuming that they mean “different from that which preceded it,” we look forward to Alicia Colon
’s stirring defense of Roe v. Wade; an impassioned Seth Lipsky
demanding Palestinian statehood; James Bowman
’s rave review of ‘Jackass: The Movie’; and of course, Rachel Donadio’s
quest to sell the perfect couch.
Brad Olson and I have long wondered why Big Poppa Steinhardt and Sugar Daddy Kovner's $20 million bought so little in terms of a news-gathering operation. Lauren Mechling today provides the answer: booze. Actually, it's the liquid equivalent of Krusty's Faberge omlettes, the World Bar's “World’s Most Expensive Cocktail
.” Mechling opines of the drink that it "tastes thick and smoky," demonstrating consumption of at least one by Sun
allies. In light of this intelligence, we have reviewed Seth and Ira's performance to date, and have concluded that they've saturated themselves with 400,000 of the concoctions described by Mechling. The pair's ever-gathering stupidity and worsening grasp on unambiguous matters of fact are all the evidence that is necessary to substantiate our belief. Seth and Ira's alcoholic mental incapacitation is patent.
Mechling also quotes a numskull CEO as saying, “I’ll go to Barneys at lunchtime and I’ll always say, ‘Where’s this recession everyone’s talking about? It’s packed!’” This is another Sun
assertion that we are unable to empirically assess. We stopped going when Barney's began admitting undesirable riff-raff
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Ira Stoll’s now dormant online version of SmarterTimes has a section devoted to criticism of the New York Times’ sexist descriptions
of women in its pages. One wonders how Ira Version 1.0 would have ruled regarding Emmett Tyrrell’s
regular mash notes to President Bush. In today’s New York Sun, Auntie Em refers to the Unelected One as “suave” and, twice in the space of a couple hundred words, “gentlemanly.” Em’s preening is as distasteful as his prose, and borderline sexual harassment. (Tyrrell’s main point is that Bush’s “gentlemanly tone [damn, I missed a variation on gentleman; you need a new thesaurus, pal] is something he believes in.” Tell that to John McCain.
The Seth and Ira invalid corps continues to fight its battle against dissent
on the pages of Tuesday's Sun
. The lunatic duo bid us to follow "Israel's Example," stating that "as we Americans prepare for the prospect of going to war ourselves in the Middle East, such unity as Israel has managed to display strikes us as an admirable example."
Too bad many Israelis find that same unity - i.e., unthinking obediance - to be tragically inappropriate
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
In Tuesday's New York Sun, the SmarterTimes feature takes a shot at the Times' coverage of the bribery, er, negotiations for hosting the 2012 Summer Olympics. (For those of you unaware, SmarterTimes is intended as a critical look at the New York Times, hence Times, by someone who is smarter than them, hence Smarter and i.e. the Sun. Some might wonder if the definition of "smarter" would cover somebody throwing $20 million at a weak excuse for a newspaper which is utterly devoted to its own envy of said Times, and consists mainly of material available for free elsewhere, but not Grady
!) The Sun chafes at the Times' reference to Havana and Moscow as "major cities." As to Havana, I would respond that it is, in fact, a world capital, after all; also, there are those (including me
) who believe that something like the Olympics might hasten the end of Communism in that country. But then I don't believe in supporting bad guys
. Regarding Moscow's identification by the NYT as a "major city," the Sun opines, "Moscow? Where the government's idea of solving a hostage crisis is gassing the hostages?" Ya got me there Ira. Who can respect a country where that type
Also in Tuesday’s Sun, the paper came out with its endorsement of George Pataki for governor of New York. Seth and Ira write, and yes it’s spelled this way, “Thos. Golisano we listened to with some enthusiasm, particularly with his call for zero-based budgeting and his reserve on taxes.” Not to mention the enthusiasm for the full-page ads Thos.’s campaign took out in the advertising-deprived Sun. Ultimately, though, the Sun had to stick to its guns. Repeating, the NY Sun has endorsed Geo. Pataki for Gov. of NY.
Sunday, October 27, 2002
Robert Dreyfuss writes in The American Prospect
of Seth and Ira's buddy Ahmed Chalabi:
What's also startling about these ["regime change"]plans is that Chalabi is scorned by most of America's national-security establishment, including much of the Department of State, the CIA and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He is shunned by all Western powers save the United Kingdom, ostracized in the Arab world and disdained even by many of his erstwhile comrades in the Iraqi opposition.[more]
The sections on Chalabi's history of fraud and embezzlement reminded us endlessly of the sleazy business practices of Sun
money men Michael Steinhardt and Bruce Kovner, and we seriously wonder whether the Sun
's championing of Chalabi is simply an instance of
birds of a feather flocking together or whether Seth and Ira are recruiting coconspirators for future Steinhardt-Kovner