Friday, December 20, 2002
Still no winners in the Yes Virginia pool---it’s gotta be next week!
Now, it’s off to the LFLS Christmas party
. Regular readers know that I am a happily married
man, so I’ll do my best to not let our new office manager, Linda
, catch me under the mistletoe, honey!
Thursday, December 19, 2002
update: unfortunately, no winners yet, although William
, our COO, and Stuart
, our features editor, are claiming victory based on Alicia Colon’s column in today’s New York Sun. Alicia discusses the venerated piece, but only to knock it down. See, Alicia explains that she gave her own version of the “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” story to her kids when they were little, only she told them all about the real life Saint Nicholas. (Did you know that Saint Nicholas is the patron saint
? I didn’t.) In other words, that there is no Santa Claus. A real barrel of laughs, that Alicia. However, she writes, “I still bake a birthday cake for Jesus [every Christmas] to put the holiday in perspective.” That’s so, um, that’s, uh, I don’t want to say weird,it’s just. . .uh . . . you know, actually it reminds me of a movie
I saw. . .
CONGRATULATIONS to New York “Socialite-cum-fashion-designer Jessie Della Femina
.” You got your picture on the front page of the New York Sun!
OUR CONDOLENCES to New York “Socialite-cum-fashion-designer Jessie Della Femina.” The caption to your picture on the front page of the New York Sun spelled your name “Della Famina.” Right there, about a half inch above the correct spelling of your name.
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
The less said about today’s epic anti-PBS/anti-Muslim/anti-Islam diatribe
the better. However: 1.) why do they put the word “public” in quotation marks? I suppose it’s supposed to be insinuative, but I can’t figure out of what. That WNET is actually private? That it’s a cable station? Beats me. 2.) A large section of the “editorial” (hey, this sarcastic quotation mark thing is fun)is devoted to Sheik Tantawi, “chief of the Al Ashar mosque” (OK, those quotation marks aren’t meant to be sarcastic, they’re meant to signify a quote; this sarcastic quoting thing is tougher than I thought). Unmentioned is that the sheik is no stranger to at least one
of the Sun’s editors, and therefore may just be a convenient example of a “moderate Muslim” scholar, who may be no such thing (except to Seth and Ira, of course). 3.) They cite as “preposterous” the PBS documentary’s claim that there are “six to seven million” American Muslims, preferring “serious studies” which put the number “between 2 million and 3 million.” There does seem to be some debate on exactly how many American Muslims there are, but I guess I’ll pick my reputable sources
, and Seth and Ira can stick with their “serious scholars”
. (That was cool; I got to do the sarcastic quote thing AND actually quote them!) 4.)They provide a list of selected Channel 13 trustees. Maybe we’re all supposed to start threatening them. So you better watch your ass, Oscar de la Renta!
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
More hysteria at the Sun
today, with Seth and Ira stating that the alleged cost of Colin Powell's sometime apparent reluctance to back Bush's war on the unfree Iraqis will be the number of citizens killed in a "strike against America by terrorists emboldened
" by the sight of dissent.
Whatever logic was to connect the two premises seems to have been excised in edit, and we suggest that if Seth and Ira seriously want the administration to spare its constituents the horrors of terror, they should demand a more dogged pursuit of certain demonstrated criminals (no William Mauldin jokes yet; he's only an alleged criminal as of present). One of the more prominent such persons failed to rate a single unprompted presidential mention in the eight months
ending October 1. The subsequent two-and-a-half
failed to up that figure significantly.
We like to admit our failings here at LFLS, and we have failed you in the past by not describing the fine job William Mauldin does. If you aren’t familiar with his work, you should acquaint yourself; he often writes the Sun’s Police Blotter box. So perhaps he was just doing research Saturday night
(third item, as our Romanian friend
likes to say). . .
Monday, December 16, 2002
Adam Daifallah's enthusiasm for the warm and fuzzy Iraqi oppositionists continues to mount, writing today - with extra semicolons! - about how "Iraqi Exiles Display Unity, Question Role of State Dept." The content of the piece
are as predictable as its want of readability, the only surprise coming when Daifallah and the career oppositionists affirm their esential agreement with one of the great minds
of contemporary conservatism. The requisite Ahmad Chalabi plug can be found 718 words past the dateline.
Elsewhere, we encounter the following: "It’s hard to imagine George W. Bush saying anything like that ["I’ve come to closure on this"], ever, which is probably one reason the Texas governor is now president of America and Mr. Gore is teaching at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro, Tenn." It's hard to imagine, say, Howell Raines allowing publication of so ridiculous an assertion, but that's probably one reason Raines sits astride the paper of record and Seth and his underlings are running a "New York-centric
" Jabotinskyite warblog that expresses Michael Steinhardt's prejudices (no doubt he prefers to call them "opinions").