Friday, January 03, 2003
The journalistic sloth of Seth and Ira seems greater than ever. Had either man resolved on the advent of the New Year to forego their conspicuous consumption at the AP trough, they proved as weak willed in their resolution as, say, William Mauldin
is before a book of matches. In their featured editorial
the two - both editors of a "Broadsheet That Will Make New York a Priority
" - cite the Associated Press and its treatment of the spate of shootings by New York police, specifically mentioning "Luis, a restaurant employee who declined to give his last name." The AP report which they cited quoted "Luis, a restaurant employee who declined to give his last name." Seth and Ira, however, didn't see fit to employ quotation marks as we have. A minor point though in comparison to what they did apply to the story: their illimitable idiocy.
The two despair over "residents" smashing the windshield of a police car after an officer gunned down a teenager, and follow by allowing that: "The district attorney of New York County can be trusted to conduct a careful investigation of these shootings. The police would do well to cooperate fully rather than hide behind union lawyers. And the activists would be well-advised to suspend their protest marches and windshield-smashing until all the facts are in. Even the best-intentioned and best-trained officers can sometimes make mistakes in the split-second judgments called for in these situations." Residents, however, are not allowed any error in judgment when confronted with "these situations." Seth and Ira, in their rush to tar and feather "activists" (how did we get from "residents" to "activists?"), accord greater value to a windshield than to the life of Anthony A. Newsome, the teenager killed.
Two "essential points" are then made, both contradicting the earlier essential point that was obviously made unintentionally. To wit, "the district attorney of New York County can be trusted to conduct a careful investigation of these shootings." Editorialists would be well-advised to suspend their rush to exonerate the police and expose the "activists" of Hamilton Heights to further contumely until all the facts are in. Failing that, if they insist on weighing in on "yesterday’s two
shootings," they may want to include mention of the second, where an unarmed
man was killed.
Thursday, January 02, 2003
As you may have noticed, Brad Olson
have been updating this site with diminished frequency of late. We are both away from the office
for the holidays, putting us upwind of Seth and Ira's stench trench
. While we are poorly situated to review the paper's ludicrous contents, we can add to the present site by digging further into the mailbag. One "jd407" writes:
Man, youre buddy Olsens always writing about himself, but you never do. I know he's a preacher or something and has kids. What about you and whats the connection?
The abstracted version is as follows: Brad Olson's parents were missionaries. On deciding that certain segments
of the Aotearoan population retained altogether too many non-Christian characteristics, they resettled and began proselytizing in my town
. Brad, then aged 12, was placed in the local high school, and through the accident of the alphabet, was seated next to me in class. Thus begun a long and profitable relationship, with Brad asking me to godfather his children, and with my company providing back office support to his personal services
outfits. For shits and giggles we run LFLS
as a non-Steinhardt-endowed public service.
On a more personal level, I like to spend my days in quiet contemplation
of the innumerable glories of God. I've spent the past 13 years restoring a 1969 Chevelle SS 396, a work that remains very much in progress. Unmarried and without the encumbrance of a family, I also like smoking grass.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRA STOLL
!! Thirty years young! Aside from his choice of our usual gifts
, Ira is also entitled to a copy of Michael Steinhardt’s newest bestseller
! What else happened on December 31, 1972? Well, Pete Hamill
quit drinking, for example. . . which is a little spooky. . . it’s almost as if he knew he would need to be sober in the coming years to fight some sort of evil force
. Equally spooky is that the Sun has a lengthy and well written (by Jack Matthews, of course) story on Hamill today. . . kismet?
Anyway, Happy New Year everybody! And Happy Birthday Ira! (By the way, don’t Ira’s parents love him any more? I didn’t see an ad from them . . .)
Sunday, December 29, 2002
As does Bro. Olivier, below, I have to quickly note Friday’s editorial
in the New York Sun
. To reiterate, the Sunshinola Boys
protest the gift of $500,000 from Saudi Prince Alwaleed ibn Talal to “Phillips Academy, Andover, founded in 1778,” supposedly at the insistence of George Walker Bush, whom some consider the President of the United States. (The cash, coincidentally, is going to the George Herbert Walker Bush Scholarship Fund.) Could the Sun's outrage be based on the fact that Andover is the beloved alma mater of William Kummel
, Sun COO, who may suffer from his publication's well-established aversion to Ayrabs? Not that we’re saying anyone from the Sun
would ever use the publication for their own personal agendas
. . . we’re just saying.