"I don't believe in journalists having 'responsibility.'"
-Seth Lipsky, October 16, 2003

Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll demanded on August 20, 2003, that Washington "finish the war" against "the Arabs."

Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll assembled their staff for a Champagne toast to mass death on the commencement of hostilities against Iraq. Stoll called it "my war." CNN maintains a running update here of Americans killed in Ira's war.

On February 6, 2003, Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll wrote, in all seriousness, of a pending anti-war demonstration that the "the New York City police could do worse, in the end, than to allow the protest and send two witnesses along for each participant, with an eye toward preserving at least the possibility of an eventual treason prosecution."

The June 9, 1995 Wall Street Journal quoted an SEC complaint against New York Sun backer Bruce Kovner as saying Kovner had "altered and destroyed" subpoenaed evidence. We wish you'd do the same to the daily print run of your God-awful newspaper, Bruce.

Also, Professor G. Harlan Reynolds alleged on August 27, 2002 - when the Sun was several months in publication - that Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll had not yet paid him for a piece authored for their inaugural issue.

 
 
   
 
Friday, April 18, 2003
 
In today’s Sun, Adam Daifallah quotes Francis Brooke, identified as the Iraqi National Congress’s “Washington-based adviser,” as saying, “We have more friends here [in Baghdad] than I could have imagined. The problem we’re having is trying to control people who want to do things for us.” We are sure that with time, Mr. Brooke, you and your INC pals will have no problem whatsoever controlling the people of Baghdad, thus solving the equally vexing problem of having Iraqi friends who want to do things for you.

Thursday, April 17, 2003
 
A semi-regular correspondent writes:
Hi Grady,

Contrary to your predictions, it seems the Earth was able to complete one orbit around the Sun. Some scientists predict the Sun has enough circulation, er, fuel to last for billions of years. And according to your own rants, it seems that it has been able to at least quadruple its readership, er, sources of energy, during that year. Not only that, but it is now shining all over the world with it's new internet edition. So, it appears that your scary stories predicting the demise of that source of brightly illuminated news are baseless. Your little earner is secure.
Noted.

But I must add here that my scenarios of the Sun's closure were more instances of wishful thinking than Jimmy-the-Greek-style prognostication. After all, a gang of plutocrats backs the paper without care as to its returns. Further, as reported in the Daily News, a full 27 per cent of the Sun's circulation is sponsored by third-parties. The Sun then is more a broadsheet vanity in which a narrow-minded core constituency can see a reflection of their parochial politics. It's daily proof that they're not alone in their lunacy. For Kovner et al to defund the paper thereby assuring its demise would constitute a huge tear off their collective IALAC sign.

The New York media are arrayed according to a Howelliocentric, rather than a heliocentric, scheme, something that must piss Ira off endlessly. The louder he howls, the less people pay attention. I see they're into Brooklyn secession now. Yawn.

But you, sir, are correct. SethAndIra's Sun may well continue to exhaust its "sources of energy" (God knows, I'm ready to call it nap time before hitting page three) for years. Seth and Ira, though, have made sure that it burns about as spectacularly as a 30-watt bulb. It's eventual death will be received with the same indifference shown its pathetic life.
 
Headline, front page, today's Sun: "Chalabi Returns to Baghdad After an Absence of 40 Years." Nine days ago, the Sun pointed out that Chalabi left Iraq in 1958. Not to get all SniderTimes, but wouldn't that make it more like 45 years? Okay, who's been letting Ira write headlines again?

Headline, front page, today's Sun: "A New Breed of Hedge Funds Starts To Draw Questions." As opposed to the really good old-school funds. . . Way to break the story, Dina Temple-Ralston! And to think that (we heard) Sethandira were eyeing a replacement for you. . .

Wednesday, April 16, 2003
 
The Sun turns one today, an odd event considering it's editor Ira Stoll, judged by his petulant immaturity, seems actually younger than his creation.

Present on Page One is Anna Schneider-Mayerson. She writes of a party so exclusive that non-native New Yorkers are barred entry. If only the same rule applied to the city's print media. How alienated from New York can you be that within your social circle native New Yorkers are a scarce quantity.

Absent in the centerfold retrospective of journalistic ground broken over the past twelve months is mention of the paper's Mehdi Haery coverage.

The prejudice page has an imbecilic effort from a MEMRI-affiliated gentleman named "Nimrod."

Seth and Ira crammed this 28-page anniversary barrel full of fish just asking to be shot. We won't bother, falling into line with what appears to be the entirety of press criticism: a quick Nexis search shows that for all the office furniture vendors taking out Sun ad space to wish the paper a happy birthday, not a single catalogued source even made mention of SethAndIra's achievement - though a press release with Ira-typical poor spelling was released by the Sunnis commemorating the durability of their shitrag.

Congratulations, scumbags.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003
 
That's the Sun. They always pick a winner.

Why do Iraqis hate freedom and love taxes so damn much?

Just to throw in my dime bag's worth on the Bernard Lewis pic, let' s just say that I've seen some fucked up nonsense in my time selling crack, but damn, that is one ugly-ass dude. Now, Peggy Noonan, on the other hand, makes me think un-Christian thoughts.

Monday, April 14, 2003
 
Brad Olson, after all, is arts editor, and a flat-footed unsophisticate such as I really has no place questioning his aesthetic judgment. That said, I thought Bernard Lewis looked more like the bastard son of Uncle Fester, Laurie Oakes, Seth, and Erland Van Lidth. Those are just the people contributing genetic material. You can add to that foul brew Larry King's liver spots and Idi Amin's deep, deep humanity.
 
As he is merely a gossip columnist, we generally leave Gary Shapiro alone. Today is one of the occasions on which we cannot, as he shills so heedlessly for his employer that he threatens to veer into Emmett Tyrrell-caliber sycophancy. “Reporting” on The Founders’ Association annual dinner celebrating “journalists, writers, artists and scholars” (which effectively prevents anyone from the Sun from ever becoming a threat to win), Shapiro correctly identifies presenter Seth Lipsky as “editor” of the New York Sun, although he forgot to put the sacasti-quotes around the word editor. However, Shapiro neglects to identify the many other Sun notables with their embarrassing project. Which other Sunnis were there besides Seth? Investor Michael Steinhardt (hope the dinner wasn’t family-style!), columnist/Lord-Conrad-Black-consort Barbara Amiel, occasional screed-screecher Peggy Noonan, and Gay Blade Tyrrell all get the boldface treatment without being identified as Sun worshipers. Also, Shapiro forgot to identify honoree Robert Bartley as being completely insane.

The “story” also features a truly frightening photo of Bernard Lewis (this one captures some of the qualities that, yet again, have a Sun photo terrifying my children). Judging from the photo, Lewis is apparently the spawn of some unholy mating of Robert Novak, Dan Dorfman, and Hans Moleman.

In closing, it appears that Thomas Hauser, who authored the single best book on Muhammad Ali, has fallen on hard times and been forced to join the Sun. I ask that we remember him in our prayers during this holiday season.
 
It's odd that the likes of sethandira would write about tort reform, but open up to the editorial page of today's Sun and there it is. Rates for rental cars have gone up, and like all the trouble in the world, it's the fault of trial lawyers.

Ho hum. We all know what Ira's real concern here is. Poor folks in "the outer boroughs" need to rent cars if they are real red-blooded Americans who need to get around, for we all know that a poor person shouldn't actually own a car.

"It is hardly as if the rental companies are going to charge unnecessarily high rates to outer-borough residents. Why would they want to rent fewer cars?" the dipshit duo asks the beseiged reader. The reader responds: "Why would anyone believe these two knuckleheads know the first thing about business?"
 
Actually, there's quite a bit of good stuff in today's Journal, including a write-up of Ahmad Chalabi. It is very encouraging - and equally telling - that Chalabi's fighters greet their leader with the chant "With our spirit and blood, we'll redeem you." According to Journal reporter Yaroslav Trofimov these very words were "used for decades to praise Saddam Hussein."

Trofimov then tells of Chalabi's wooing session with a group of Bidoor Tribesmen, who petitioned the U.S.-installed potentate thus:
"We have no water, no electricity." Instead of explaining how such needs will be met, Mr. Chalabi simply got up and led the way to a sumptuous lamb and rice banquet served on the carpeted floor outside.
The piece's concluding paragraph: "On the way home, Mr. Chalabi's cavalcade lost its way -- and had to stop by a U.S. checkpoint to ask directions back to the base."
 


Lummox Watch:

From SethAndIra's three-day-late, $20-million-dollar-short reprint of last Friday's Wall Street Journal "Best of the Web Today."

YOU DON'T SAY I "Success in Iraq Helps Bush Politically - headline, USA Today, April 9
Headline in today's WSJ: "War Success Elevates Bush Standing."

 

 
   
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