"I don't believe in journalists having 'responsibility.'"
-Seth Lipsky, October 16, 2003

Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll demanded on August 20, 2003, that Washington "finish the war" against "the Arabs."

Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll assembled their staff for a Champagne toast to mass death on the commencement of hostilities against Iraq. Stoll called it "my war." CNN maintains a running update here of Americans killed in Ira's war.

On February 6, 2003, Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll wrote, in all seriousness, of a pending anti-war demonstration that the "the New York City police could do worse, in the end, than to allow the protest and send two witnesses along for each participant, with an eye toward preserving at least the possibility of an eventual treason prosecution."

The June 9, 1995 Wall Street Journal quoted an SEC complaint against New York Sun backer Bruce Kovner as saying Kovner had "altered and destroyed" subpoenaed evidence. We wish you'd do the same to the daily print run of your God-awful newspaper, Bruce.

Also, Professor G. Harlan Reynolds alleged on August 27, 2002 - when the Sun was several months in publication - that Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll had not yet paid him for a piece authored for their inaugural issue.

 
 
   
 
Saturday, April 26, 2003
 
Like the New York Sun, the New York Press is in essence a vanity paper, saddled with an idiotic right-wing editor (Russ Smith in the Press' case) dedicated to furthering his own causes while at the same time throwing away massive amounts of someone else's money (Smith's super-rich brother reportedly bankrolls the Press).

However, even the worst papers are not always without merit (even the Sun manages to publish Errol Louis and re-publish Michael Kinsley). And so we find ourselves considering JR Taylor's column in the NY Press of April 23-29. Taylor writes:

"[S]peaking of bad drink deals, the fiscal conservatives of the New York Sun don't even opt for an open bar during the media-only portion of the daily paper's anniversary bash at Lobby. Even worse, the music is the same funky sounds you'd hear at any Century 21 holiday office party." Taylor wrote that he decided to head to a different bar, "although I don't leave before a cute conservative gal informs me that public humiliation isn't keeping the Wall Street Journal's John Fund from still being a lecherous old creep."

Upon returning to Lobby, Taylor finds "the media types have fled, and the party's become another gathering sponsored by mediabistro.com. . . Considering that he's almost unanimously disliked by his employees, it's probably not surprising that Sun editor Ira Stoll couldn't muster enough friends to fill the club by himself."

Friday, April 25, 2003
 
Ah, Brad, I don't want to chastise you in front of our fine readers, but I must object to your rough treatment of correspondent "CandyCrystal." You urge the woman to self-betterment, but provide little inducement. District manager? God, I've seen prose less competent than Ms. Crystal's in the pages of the Sun. A little continuing education and she could copy edit Ira.
 
"It’s none too soon for Messrs. Pataki, Bruno, and Bloomberg to start asking themselves what Mr. Bush is doing that they’re not," suggest "Messrs." Stoll and Lipsky in an "editorial" in today's "New York Sun." Referring with disdain to "the 'Republican' mayor of New York City" (I'm still mastering this scare quotes thing. Did he not actually get elected on the Republican ticket?), the two nitwits offer up a startling suggestion for New York's politicians: They should bomb the shit out of some miserably poor country.

See, the terrorist-supporting tax-cutters of the right seem to think that Mr. Bush's popularity has something to do with high deficits and a floundering economy. That Bush is polling at 58% in New York, far less than he is polling nationwide, probably does not send Democratic candidates into as much of a PCP-induced frenzy as it does Chambers Street's resident lunatics. But nothing seems to bother advocates of big tax cuts: not "facts," "polls," "basic economics." They are fond of thinking of supply-side economics as a serious economic theory. Problem is, only supply-siders think that supply-side economics is a serious economic theory. By that standard, Scientology is a serious theological movement. Or, to put it another way, the Quentin Robinson Lose 40 Pounds in 10 Days Diet is a serious nutritional program.

Relax, "Messrs. Pataki, Bruno, and Bloomberg," you do have one advantage Mr. Bush does not. You all actually got more votes than your opponents.
 
From the LFLS mailbag:

Hey, wuzzup?! remember me? I'm Crystal. I'm 23 and I work in the lawn care area of Lowe's. I really wantna to meet you and I thought this would be the best way to let you no I really wanna get together withyou so I sent you these pictures (i stole my cheerleading unifrom from when I was in highschool and i kept it!). I have more pic my profile at OnlyWantSex but I couldn't send them because they are pretty raunchy and I didn't want yu to get in trouble if you see them at work :)) Anyways, you can look at the pictures of me and if you want we can get together when I'm not at work. My son has daycare all day and his father takes him on theweekends and some nights so I have the trailer all to myself whenever we need it. Plus I have my own truck so I can drive to you or whatever.

XOXOXOXO CandyCrystal***

CandyCrystal: Thank you for the more than generous invitation. However, I must inform you (and if you were a regular LFLS reader you would surely already realize) that I am a happily married man, and a proud father to boot. I am already surrounded by what other men would consider temptation on a regular basis at the salon; if I can resist the charms of central Illinois’ finest, tannest young ladies, what hope could you really have, CandyCrystal, fetching as you may be in the photos you kindly attached? (I have to admit I didn’t recognize the mascot on your uniform; is it Pana High?)

All the same, I’m glad you wrote; you are obviously a lost young lady. As a former educator, I must take issue with your lack of command of the written form of the English language. I suggest that you take those weekend opportunities when your son is visiting his father to enroll in some continuing education classes. Then, perhaps, you will be able to wend your way out of the lawn care area. Perhaps, someday, you could even find yourself in the position of district manager. Keep your eyes on the prize, CandyCrystal.

Thursday, April 24, 2003
 
Maybe existing Sun backer Michael Steinhardt has some new goodies?

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
 
Maybe the Sun has a new investor?

Tuesday, April 22, 2003
 
You know, the AP really should cut sethandira off.

It's a typical New York Sun morning, with a non-sensical non sequitur slapped onto an otherwise boring news story.

In this one, the thief Ahmad Chalabi is interviewed from the cozy confines of his utter irrelevance. "We cannot locate Saddam so that we have a coincidence of time and position simultaneously to locate him. But we are aware of his movements, and we are aware of the areas that he has been to, and we learn of this within 12 to 24 hours," said the "Iraqi" "leader." (Scare quotes!) Judging by this, one might say his "free Iraqi forces" are not really that close. Shit, I could even tell you where Saddam was 12 to 24 hours ago -- he was in Iraq. Despite this lack of competence (if their intelligence is that good, why not tell the Americans, you know, the guys who have been so successful in finding Osama bin whatshisname, Bush's great shame) the runnyeggheads at the Sun decided to slap on the weak headline "Free Iraqi Forces Are Hot on Saddam’s Trail." This actually sounds like the name for a great work of gay pornography, which might be where Chalabi is headed when all of this is over.

"In the BBC interview, Mr. Chalabi repeated claims that he has no political ambitions in Iraq." Ah, so he is a liar as well as a thief. Associated Press, this is where your stories go to die a horrible, horrible death.

At the top of page one, though, Western Massachusetts's least appealing newsmen let their "readers" hear what really matters to them -- that their doormen are about to go on strike. The prospect of "hauling trash" and "hailing cabs," so ordinary for the rest of us, must strike the Sun's dirtbag backers as adding insult to insult. I mean, isn't it enough that they have to put up with these ignorant proles in the first place? And now they want more money? Stupid doormen, they must want to buy a microwave."Let’s just hope that wage increase or no, more doormen don’t find themselves shown the door before the mayor is through," sethandira cough in a related idiotorial (obviously blind to the meaning of "union"). "They provide a useful service and have the same rights as any other workers to try to extract the highest wage possible from their employers," demonstrating that freshman-level command of economics which has served them so well for so long.


Monday, April 21, 2003
 
Today Adam Daifallah provides a puff piece on Tamara Chalabi, daughter of international super-criminal/new dictator of Iraq Ahmad Chalabi. Interestingly, Daifallah compares the young Ms. Chalabi (whose father is prouder of her recent doctorate than ANY of his own accomplishments, according to this dewy-eyed love letter from squinty-eyed Washington Post pushover Jim Hoagland) to Karenna Gore Schiff and Chelsea Clinton rather than the criminally inclined offspring of the criminally inclined Resident. This must be because Ms. Chalabi, like Ms. Clinton and Mrs. Schiff, appears to have concentrated more on her studies than on scoring weed with P. Diddy. Of course, there is one big difference between the aforementioned American girls and the lovely Ms. Chalabi; Karenna and Chelsea would never criticize the US military.

 

 
   
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