Saturday, August 02, 2003
Good morning, Q. You are certainly correct in your appraisal of Conrad Blackguard. In addition to being a carpetbagger, though, he is also a teabagger and a douche bag.
Now on to the fantastical content of the small circulation journal of fiction he in part endows, The New York Sun
. I was busy seeing to the innumerable details and debacles presenting themselves in the run-up to this weekend's big event
, but with things proceeding smoothly, I can now commit a few words on Thursday and Friday editions of the Sun
As per his usual, unhinged weirdo Benny Avni filed an outlandish piece on Kofi Annan's suggestion to muster a multinational force to resuscitate the moribund reconstruction effort and supplement the beleaguered peace-keeping force. This, of course, strikes Avni as a patently bad idea? His reason, you might ask. Well, he doesn't give His
reason, though he does give Ahmad Chalabi
's: "They [the U.N.] have little credibility in Iraq," The Jet records Dr. al-Harami
as saying. Ah, Benny, you make SethAndIra
so so proud.
Predictably SethAndIra scavenged about for a Thursday defense of the disgraced and disgraceful John Boy Poindexter's zany terror futures scheme. I had read it with an eye to responding, but I see the estimable Errol Louis countered much of the previous day's nonsense with a fine weigh-in on Friday, thus largely obviating a reply - though not entirely. That the Sun
would come out with a defense of the scheme was a given: after all, SethAndIra's enablers
are always looking for new venues in which they can work their chicanery. But I would have thought their irrational fear of all things terrorist - read: Islam - would have deliberated on the issue longer before letting slip their dogs of bore. The informative value of markets is - except in narrow senses - dubious, and profiteers do business in them on the presumption that they are either possessed of superior information unavailable to others, or that their interpretation of standard information is so novel that a position is merited. Now, I'm no Ira Stool, but I prefer to have my transactants having superior information - that is, information of the sort unavailable to law enforcement - detained and interrogated, not rewarded. Sorry to see Messrs. Shlaes and Stoll dissenting.
Though they may have done so on the second score: the belief that market participants would wager on the novelty of their interpretations of available data. This would make sense, as the Sun
regularly and reliably takes such quixotic stances as libeling peace marchers treasonous criminals and labeling the apparent enmity shown occupation forces as support for the occupation force (see Handsome Bobby Tyrrell's June 4 appreciation of Adam Daifallah and "Skid" Mark Steyn).
The lead special ed
itorial - entitled Where the 'WMD Are' - was by all indications authored by Seth Lipsky, the Duffy St. Pierre helming the god-awful paper. The evasion of the question is so slow and graceless, it's just gotta be a fat, flaccid old coot scampering about the page and ducking behind columns of type. The real issue is not whether Iraq has or had WMDs, or, as the melonheads are now saying, whether they had the capability to reconstitute a dormant WMD program. The Bushite
junta assured all that Saddam's WMDs were an imminent threat to America which demanded immediate and decisive action. As is now evident, Bush lied shamefully, to the cost of 250 Americans
. This does not bother Seth, who finds all the calls to account distasteful. As he states in so many words at the piece's conclusion, shelving an inquiry into Bush's fraudulent assertions would keep Howard Dean from the presidency. I don't much care for Dean, but I care even less for a disgusting asshole who is willing to sacrifice 250 of his nominal countrymen to keep a reckless and evil regime installed in the White House.
Friday, August 01, 2003
To add further to the New York Sun
's Hall of Shame comes this dispatch
, which highlights further the corruption of Little Ricky Perle. It seems that, in violation of federal law, the Dark Prince was demanding fees for media appearances, though his post on the Defense Policy Board precluded such profiteering. This news comes, of course, following on other news that Perle found other various ways to illegally profit
from his unpaid post.
Perle, as you may or may not know, sits on the Board of Directors of Hollinger International, Lord Black's investment group that partially funds the Sun
. As such, he, along with fellow board member Henry Kissinger, have been valiantly, if foolishly, defended by SethAndIra every time another of their shady schemes comes to the surface. No more need be said on that -- the Sun
has an impressive list of neer-do-wells floating around. To summarize:
Hollinger International -- a war criminal and a war profiteer, both crooks
Steinhardt -- crook
Kovner -- crook
Conrad Black -- carpetbagger
and they support
Chalabi -- crook
Mark Steyn -- plagiarist
Stool -- plagiarist
Messrs. Olivier and Olson, am I missing anyone? Quite an impressive list so far.
In today's idiotorial page the Sun
asks the question: "If Saddam didn’t have the weapons, why was he so eager to deceive the U.N. inspectors?" In this instance they curiously seem ignorant of a recent article in the New Republic
(all the more puzzling since TNR has many of the same investors as the Sun
) which revealed, through interviews with Iraqi scientists, that Saddam was eager to deceive the U.N. inspectors because he wanted to keep the illusion of WMDs as a deterrent. Seems simple enough, but too simple even for the Sun
As an aside, it is always amusing to see the Bushies and the Sun
nis claim that the war was about U.N. weapons inspectors. These inspectors, lest you need reminding:
A. Destroyed more weapons than any combination of military strikes ever did
B. Had the full faith and support of the international community, which would come in really handy with the qWagmire The Resident has gotten us into
C. Were kicked out in 2003 by Bush, not by Hussein
"If the Democrats want to be the party that believes in letting aggressive, brutal dictators like Saddam get away with deceiving the United Nations and leaving the world in the dark about his biological, chemical, and nuclear weapons programs — well, in the post-September 11 world, they are going to be the minority party for a long time," SethAndIra muse.
And thus the circle is complete. The Sun
jumps on the dissent-is-treason meme, Jonah Goldberg (a force on intellectual par with the Sun
nis, which is an insult) continues it, and Ann Coulter turns it into a best-selling book. The Right is losing its mind. How nice that SethAndIra were already gone and not coming back, so no one will particularly notice. There are a thousand things wrong with this sentence, for instance, SethAndIra's lost-and-found reverence for the United Nations. But maybe it's better to just let the sentence speak for itself.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
How do you knock all those “Bush is a liar” stories, all those “Bush is destroying the economy” stories, all those “no, really, Bush is a HUGE fucking liar” stories off the front page? Apparently, you announce
that you found out in mid-June that terrorists may be planning further airliner attacks. Then you go on vacation for a month. But of course over at the New York Sun, headlines calling Bush a liar have never run in the first place.
Anyways, today’s idiotorial page brings many treats. First, a tribute to four of the recent Presidential Medal of Freedom winners; Edward Teller, Chuck Heston, James Q. Wilson, and Julia Child. (Hey guys, didn’t you know she was a spy
, too? Pretty cool old broad.) Sadly, SethAndIra
forgot to mention new winner Jacques Barzun. Say, you guys didn’t ignore Jacques because of that suspicious sounding name of his, did you? (Note to whoever is running the Medal of Freedom website
: you really shouldn’t plagiarize
. Even Ira knows that! Oh, wait
. . . ) Well, I guess we all have to pick our favorite recipients. I know I have mine
Amity Shlipsky weighs in with a long and boring (her specialty) piece comparing post-war Iraq with post-war Germany. Amity posits that there are lots of similarities, I guess implying that everything will eventually work out in Iraq, just like it did in Germany
. For example, she writes that in the chaos after WWII “There were even times when Allied officers mistook resistance heroes for foes,” while “in May. . . American troops stormed the Baghdad Hunt Club only to discover that the 35 Iraqis they were handcuffing were the core of the American-funded Iraqi National Congress.” Good point, Am. Except, of course, that German resistance fighters actually fought in their war, rather than showing up afterwards to scavenge. And that certain members of the INC do, in fact, deserve to be handcuffed
Meanwhile, old reliable Emmett Tyrrell weighs in with a pretentious and boring (his specialty) idiotorial on something or another. The passage that caught our eye: “I am told the liberals love those ‘action movies’ showing busty women in tight-fitting military garb, pistols on their hips, grenades hanging from their bodices, as they beat the living daylights out of flabby white men and various creatures from outer space.” Emmett, to be sure, enjoys a different flavor of action movie
The lead story in today's Sun
blares the following headline:
"AMERICAN TROOPS CLOSE IN ON SADDAM
In Audiotape, Ousted Tyrant Calls His Sons’ Death ‘Good News’
FREE IRAQI COUNCIL NAMES RULING PANEL OF NINE"
Now, I grew up in a storm drain and didn't get none of that fancy Harvard learnin', but isn't " sons' " plural? And if it is indeed plural, aren't we talking about "deaths" instead of one single "death." Or does the Sun
view the Bastard Sons as so inseparable that their two, individual deaths is actually one, collective "death." I shouldn't have to ask these questions, but with Ira...
One may also question the use of the term "tyrant" in a headline on an AP story (for more on the Sun
's abuse of the Associated Press wire service, see the New York Sun
). I do not doubt that Saddam was indeed a tyrant, but, once again, questions arise. In this case, I like to do a mental exercise. Would the Sun, in its own fair-and-balanced way, refer to General Pinochet as a "tyrant"? Or must one be Arab?
One may yet still question the use of the term "Free Iraqi Council." To now, the Sun
has generally reserved the term "Free Iraqi" for Ahmad Chalabi and his merry band of born-again Iraqi bandits. These "Free Iraqis" have been spending most of their time, according to the Iraqi National Congress's official newsletter, the New York Sun
, "liberating" various unguarded, undefended, run-down offices *at* New York and Washington, playing grab-ass and watching TV.
But this "Free Iraqi Council" seems to make reference to the Iraqi Governing Council, the puppet regime set up by Bremer to appease... well, to appease somebody, though they don't seem to be doin' much appeasin'. In fact, the Sun
seems to admit this, though in a buried-on-page-five kind of way (yes, in the wafer-like Sun
, "buried" is page 5).
In one of those rare instances where the Sun
accidently stumbles on truth, a dispatch about young, angry Shiite men brings to the table the name Moqtada al-Sadr, a name I suspect will be more and more commonly known as time goes on. See, this is the guy who is ready to set up the militant Islamic theocracy the Bushies have paved the way for, and who will continue to kill Americans whether or not The Tyrant is caught or killed.
Support our troops: Bring them home. Or, at the very least, let's see chickenhawk Ira Stoll enlist to fight his war.
UPDATE: A concerned reader writes: "'Would the Sun, in it's own fair-and-balanced way, refer to General Pinochet as a "tyrant"? Or must one be Arab?' --- I grew up in a storm drain and didn't get none of that fancy LFLS learnin', but shouldn't "it's" be "its"? I realize editing is generally less rigorous online than on newsprint, but it's amusing to see you bash the Sunnis for a grammatical error and commit one of your own a graf later."
Thank you, Concerned Reader, for catching my error. I do however take exception to "editing is generally less rigorous online than on newsprint." For our part at LFLS, our fact-checkers and proof-readers are actually a monkey and a wad of chewing gum. We have received $0.00 for our work, and yet I think, pound for pound, our little publication is generally better edited than the Sun
, which for some reason known only to Seth Lipsky employs Ira Stoll as a managing editor and pays him very well for his incompetence.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Apologies to my colleague Quentin Robinson
for knocking his fine entry from the top of this page, especially as the present post relates not to anything in today's Sun
, but to Monday's edition.
In a dispatch from Seth
nistan titled 'Korea and Iraq,' the blunder twins lament thus: "Sadly, the past generation had the memory of Korea tarnished by the anti-war television series about an American medical unit called M*A*S*H." Really. I have the clipping to prove it.
Of course, war for Seth is something of a Robert Bly exercise. A mundane operation against a forgettable Latin American country is, at worst, an enterprise of character development for the young men fortunate enough to fight. When the battle is taken by the U.S. or Israel to various Reds and ragheads, well, my friend, that's a positive glory.
Yet this unambiguous glory - a function of the evils of the GlobalIslamofascistterrorist/GlobalCommunistterrorist conspiracy - can be destroyed for tens of millions by a simple syndicated television program.
Glory isn't as durable as it used to be.
Today's New York Sun
reprint of the God-awful "Best [sic] of the Web" features a photo of Newsweek's cover depicting Uday and Qusay, with this clever cutline:
"SNAPPY INTRO demosder am meliora dies poemata zsfsdfsdf AP
Yes, the Associated Press has been known to dabble in dada, especially when it decided to lend its content to abuse by the likes of Ira Stoll.
EIGHTEEN PAGES! WHO EDITS THIS SHIT?!
Strangely, "demosder am meliora dies poemata zsfsdfsdf" makes a lot more sense than James "loverboy
" Taranto's usual nonsense.
Monday, July 28, 2003
regarding the "crooked Chalabi," whom Seth
have a huge crush on:
But the even larger delegation to New York left Iraq without one of its three Council members, Ahmad Chalabi, a convicted fraudster strongly supported by the Pentagon, who would be jailed if he set foot in Jordan, having been sentenced there for criminal activities. When Chalabi got on the US aircraft to fly to Abu Dhabi en route to New York he refused to stay on board because the seats on the aircraft, a C-130 transport, were not comfortable enough for him. What a true representative of the people, to be sure.