Auntie Em Tyrrell, hot on the heels of saucy tart Tina Brown, steps up to defend Connie Black today, and in his own inimitable fashion. (I.e., even more gushing and breathlessly than Tina.) Attacking the press, Em declares that “I may write in newspapers every week - when I am not writing in magazines or writing books - but I am quite confident I am not a member of the press corps.” Hey, for once we agree--we too are quite confident that you are not a member of the press corps, nor of any other respectable profession, you nattering poof. He decries the “pile on” attitude the press has taken to Lord Doublecross; “I would never ‘pile on,’” notes the author of two anti-Bill Clinton books. “I avoid group things, and besides there is something cowardly about the journalists' feeding frenzy,” writes the publisher of the “magazine” that continually fed the Clinton blood frenzy.
“The journalists have found Mr. Black’s disagreements with members of his boards at his Hollinger corporations have put him under scrutiny by government agencies”--disagreements? Robbing his shareholders blind is a disagreement?
“No rumor or report of irregularity is too measly for them to inflate into a Page One scream.”
“If everything that has been said against [Black] is wrong, it will take him years to recover his reputation, a legitimately earned reputation as a builder of some of the finest publications in the world.” Yeah, but if even one of those things is correct, then that makes him a criminal, don’t it, Em?
Anyway, Em goes on and on, but it’s getting late, the waiting room is full of ladies waiting for beds
, and the wife
and I are taking heading out this weekend for the Wellness Center
, so I can’t take the time to deal with all his pusillanimous shit, although I will point out that, yet again, a Sun “writer” forgets to point out that Hollinger is an investor in the New York Sun.
But I hate to leave on a negative note, so I will offer congratulations to the Sun on two issues. First, Otto Penzler inaugurated a column this week. Penzler is one of the leading figures in American mystery writing (especially via his Mysterious Bookshop
), and thus one of the most important figures in American literature. Mr. Penzler joins the ranks of Errol Louis, Jack Newfield, and a select few others who actually issue readable product in the Sun.
And kudos to the Sun on its tremendous circulation gain! On November 10, MediaWeek reported that the Sun was claiming daily circulation of 40,483, a whopping increase of 54% over the previous six months. Even more impressive, four days earlier, on November 6, in a letter to the editor of the Independent (scroll down
), Seth Lipsky wrote that the Sun’s “circulation is comfortably above the 45,000 a day we’re guaranteeing advertisers,” an increase of 5,000 copies compared to just 4 days later! And then, in the November 29 issue of the Spectator, gadabout/asshole Taki wrote
that (presumably according to his “new best friend, Seth Lipsky”) the Sun “is now selling 51,000 copies”! In the space of three weeks, the Sun's circulation increased by 11,000! The fastest growing daily newspaper in America, indeed! Where are John Davidson and Fran Tarkenton, because folks, THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!
PS: In that same letter to the Independent, responding to this
beautiful work, Seth also wrote, “As for what you call ‘rumours’ that we raised a toast to American and British soldiers as they set out to liberate Iraq from the Baathist tyranny, you could have confirmed that yourself with a simple phone call.” Love the classic Sun-style sarcasti-quotes around the word rumours, Seth. But you didn’t really deny Ira’s war toast now, did you, you lying, circulation-exaggerating piece of shit?
Oh, and also? The Independent didn't actually write anything about the toast, dude. That was us. Thanks for reading!
A True Meeting of the Minds
Okay, this one is too good to pass up. On page 19 of today’s Sun
, the late great Tina Brown defends Conrad Black
in a column called, “A Press Lord’s Passion For Quality.”
Now, there is not enough room to treat the whole piece here; suffice it so say it is nothing short of hilarious. Tina describes Black as the man, “stepping down as CEO of the international publishing company Hollinger International, Inc. — owner of the Chicago Sun-Times, the Jerusalem Post, and, in the U.K., the Daily and Sunday Telegraph and the venerable conservative weekly The Spectator — under a cloud of allegations of financial self-dealing and an SEC investigation.”
Now, I’m used to reports in real newspapers omitting mention of the New York Sun
, a fake newspaper, as among Hollinger’s holdings. But even the Sun
can’t bring itself to mention the Sun
. Note Tina’s column today contains no ritual disclaimer about how Hollinger is a “minority investor” in the shitrag. "Active and trusted
" my ass.
As you might expect, Tina’s column is more about style than substance. She calls it a “bummer” that Black’s book party in Manhattan was overshadowed by the unearthing of his massive corruption
. No word on whether Hollinger investors considered Black’s pilfering of the company till as a “bummer.” She spends most of the rest of the piece meandering aimlessly through obtuse middlebrowish cultural references.
But there is an odd piece of pseudo-history:
A belligerent neocon before it was fashionable, Lord Black has paradoxically contrived to write an admiring appraisal of Roosevelt’s pre-Pearl Harbor reluctance to fight the Nazis and the economic interventionism of the New Deal for which neocons of the ’30s bitterly reviled FDR as “that man.”
Now, this paragraph may not make “sense,” but I can detect at least one glaring flaw. There were no neocons in the 1930s. By definition
Tina takes a good shot at Barbara Amiel, Sun columnist: “She famously caused interesting trouble when she wrote up the anti-Semitic remarks made by the French ambassador at a dinner he thought was private. She gets away with it because she’s not only Lady Black but a brainy femme fatale brunette with a spectacular cleavage.” Oui-Oui!
“Meanwhile there is something appropriately Conradian in the thought of the scholarly press baron lost in the memorabilia of the New Deal while sharp-penciled government accountants rifle through his own papers and find them fishy,” Tina concludes in this festival of stupidity.
And it would be an amusing touch if Conrad hadn’t used shareholder money to buy the memorabilia
. And if the investigation underway hadn’t been instigated by rightly furious Hollinger investors
, as opposed to “government accountants.”
Oh, and if you missed it, Sun
faves Richard Perle and Henry Kissinger are wading deeper and deeper into some serious shit
samples in today's number
of the Sun
. Astonishingly, only one of Ira's efforts is printed at
page one. His first, "From Protest and Glitz to Pro-War Soccer Moms," chronicles what may be the single worst idea in publishing since, well, the founding of the Sun
. Two imbecilic ladies under the direction of paranoid creep Frank Gaffney are soliciting cash to start a women's magazine-cum-propaganda sheet featuring page-turners like a bit "about an Israeli company that manufactures gas masks for dogs." Ira writes with so much enthusiasm that he betrays himself as a charter subscriber, if not a financial backer: "The project is still young - this article is the first time word of it has hit the press." Ten years hence, the Sun
long out of business, one easily imagine Ira huddled down in his old Y2K bunker, furiously thumbing the prototype number
of this demented period piece ("Family Security Matters") wondering why it came to naught.
In his second awful offering, Ira attempts to resuscitate his stillborn "George Soros is an anti-Semite" pseudostory. Sticking with his familiar MO, Stoolie excerpts a few quotes, strips them of context, arrays them provocatively, and then gets Abe Foxman and Morton Klein to offer on the record outrage. One wonders why Seth and doesn't merely put Messrs. Foxman and Klein on payroll. Ditto for Family Security Matters' Carol Taber and Gay Bryant.
(Note in the second piece how Ira stubbornly refuses to attempt to construct the posessive of Gorgeous George's name. Not
Just Feel the Peace
Evidently, Daniel Pipes has been unable to find actual news organs to publish his increasingly disgusting brainfarts. So, today, we get the third Pipesmoker in a week. His op-ed is too stupid to devote much attention to, so I will summarize his argument thus:
Since terrorists are human beings -- with friends and family and personalities and feelings and people who actually like them and such -- it is important that we regard all Muslims with suspicion, as they are most likely well-concealed terrorists.
Someone wake me when the Sun