The esteemed Jacob Gershman goes cruising for chicks at
page one of today's New York Sun, and what he finds shocks him. Finding his way down to the anti-American axis of Washington Square Park at
New York City, he discovers that "New York University’s 'Office for Wellness Learning' offers college students an education in subjects that tend not to show up on your average college syllabus."
Nevermind that the "education" is in the form of workshops, not classes, so they're probably not on any "syllabus" at all. But back to the article, we find that NYU is offering "education" in such viscerally anti-American subjects as sexual health and technique and healthy eating. Of food.
"One might assume that most students entering college are familiar with at least the basic elements of sex," Gershman muses. You know, since entering freshmen are like, you know, eighteen. But he quotes the director at
NYU's program: "'They don’t know how sex works. They don’t know their body parts and what they do and where they are,' she said. 'A lot of women don’t know what their vagina looks like.'" Did Gershman?!
But all of this is too much for Gershman, who must have reported back to the editors at the New York Sun about this strange new thing at NYU, the female orgasm. This the editors regarded as page one news.
By the way, Jake, these classes have been around a while, and are offered at nearly every university that isn't a reactionary backwater/Bush-Cheney campaign stop
But Quentin Robinson isn't the only one making funny today -- Seth Lipsky and Ira Stoll have a crack at it too. Groping for a reason to insult United States Senator John F. Kerry for opposing Bush's troop realignment, they make grotesque with the lives of American troops. (There are good reasons to be for the realignment, but what good are they if they don't insinuate that Kerry is a crypto-Communist hippie liberal America-hating Islamofascist?)
This is pure class:
"Were the North Koreans actually to use the nuclear weapons, the American troops wouldn’t be much use as anything other than glo-sticks. They’d be dead."
Hah! Get it? "Glo-sticks"! Nyuck-nyuck. Take that, American troops!
Given the New York Sun's continued fidelity to a declared enemy of the United States, one Ahmad Chalabi, and their evident disregard for the lives of American troops, one is left to wonder once again:
Why do SethAndIra hate America so much?
Big steaming loads of crap in today’s New York Sun. Where to begin?
Arab-hater Steven Stalinsky
reports (heh) “There are growing indications that Iran may be planning an attack on American soil. These indicators are not secret - they appear in speeches
, newspaper articles
, TV programs
, and sermons
in Iran by figures linked to the supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and other government officials
, all discussing potential Iranian attacks on America, which will subsequently lead to its destruction.” Outrage! Damned Arabs!
Sadly, Grady got what he wished for
, resulting in our having to slog through a belabored defense of charter schools. (You know, those things that aren’t working?) Sure, an idiotorial notes, the charter schools aren’t performing to the level of public schools, but the findings of the “American Federation of Teachers study of the 2003 National Assessment of Education Progress” (SethAndIra neglect to mention, as does the Times, that Chester E. “The scores are low, dismayingly low” Finn, “a supporter of charters and president of the Thomas B. Fordham Foundation . . . was among those who asked the administration to do the comparison.”) doesn’t “change the benefit of allowing parents to make choices about their children's education.” Yes, the benefit of moving from a shitty school to an even shittier one. (The Sun also quotes Mr. Finn, but apparently didn’t ask him to rehash his “low, dismayingly low” quote.) Oh yeah, they also write, “Most current charter school students are from precisely those families who have chosen to remove them from a failing public school.” Yeah, I guess that’s why places
like Colorado Springs and Littleton have them. Um, not that there haven’t been certain, Second Amendment-related, problems in Littleton’s public schools . . .
And finally, Frank Gaffney Jr. writes about the hot new trend in socially conscious divesting. “It turns out that the nation's leading public pension funds are heavily invested in some 400 publicly traded companies that do business with terrorist sponsoring regimes, providing them with lifeblood in the form of vital resources, high technology, and cash. Cutting off such business could hurt the bad guys in material ways.” Who are these companies? Why, “the vast majority . . . are foreign-owned and operated, although about 30 are offshore subsidiaries of U.S. enterprises.” The excellent Daniel Gross sums it up pretty nicely in Slate
. Gross notes that the report, put out by the Center for Security Policy, “names only a dozen—including Alcatel, Hyundai, Siemens, and Total SA. Every one of the dozen is a foreign company . . . [but the] report tiptoes around the sleaziness practiced by American companies—including some with strong GOP ties such as Halliburton.” And of course who runs the Center? Why, Frank Gaffney, former Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Policy under Ronald Reagan (who, rumor has it, also had strong GOP ties).
Way to move your company’s shitty product Frank! Now the Sun’s readers know all about it and can begin divesting immediately! Mike
? How’s about it?